Rachele Ignesti is a woman with big eyes and a contagious smile. For the past sixteen years, she has been a clown in the Santa Maria Annunziata Hospital in Ponte a Niccheri, Bagno a Ripoli (Florence), bringing joy to the patients. She has also participated in various humanitarian missions abroad, dressing up as a social clown.
However, behind that radiant smile, there are shadows that have filled her teenage years with painful memories. It was during that time that she experienced violence at the hands of an ex-boyfriend.
Life went on: she worked as an entertainer at children’s parties, engaged in important volunteer work, found new love, and became a mother to two teenage daughters. Now 47 years old, she recently discovered that the trauma from her past still haunted her, silently eating away at her.
Rachele, what happened when you were young?
“I had a boyfriend whom I was with for three years. He treated me in a way that was far from the prince charming I had dreamed of in fairy tales.
I never felt beautiful enough next to him, I was insecure, trapped in a toxic relationship that I didn’t even realize at the time, but was quite evident to those around me.
It was only much later that I realized I had been a victim of physical and psychological violence at his hands. Unfortunately, as often happens, women who experience violence tend to justify it. I would lie to my mother to protect my boyfriend, but I did it unconsciously.”
But you managed to get out of it…
“Yes, but I came out of it bruised, with cigarette burn marks on my arms and bruises all over my body.
In my life, however, I also experienced other types of violence – no less serious – such as verbal and economic abuse, which may have been even worse. It takes courage to get out of it, and I did it for my children, with the help of skilled professionals.”
“No one knew that behind that ‘little story’ was my life”
Your first book, an illustrated story titled “Il mio nuovo principe azzurro” (My New Prince Charming), has just been published. How did the idea come about and what is it about?
“It all started when I participated in the Festival della Bugia (Festival of Lies) in August 2020 and came in third place. That year, the theme was ‘fairy tales,’ so I decided to write a dialogue in the form of a fairy tale, which I then performed on stage with my daughter.
In the dialogue, I talked to her about a prince charming who was better than me in every way, who sang better and could do everything, while I was never good enough. In the end, the little girl asked me, ‘But does your prince love you?’ and then I undressed and showed her the bruises.
But then I told her a lie, that I got those marks from meeting Shrek in the woods and that some of his green color got stuck on my skin when we hugged. I lied to protect her, to shield her from an ugly reality.
I was describing a prince when, in fact, I was talking about a monster. That time on stage, I didn’t win, I only came in third place, but no one knew that behind my lie was a personal story. Before leaving the stage, I dedicated my performance to people who are victims of violence, like I was. That dialogue with my daughter on that stage is the book I wrote.”
It’s a fairy tale told with simple language, accompanied by illustrations by Letizia Castaldo. It can move and captivate adults, but it can also be understood by children, allowing them to approach the topic through a fairy tale.
The importance of talking about violence
Rachele, what happened after your performance at the Festival della Bugia in 2020?
“A whole new world opened up for me: I was called to testify on TV, both on regional and national channels, and my story was covered by various media outlets. I was also interviewed on November 25, 2020, on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. From the book, a workshop was born that I will bring to schools and present at the ‘L’eredità delle Donne’ (The Legacy of Women) festival, with Serena Dandini.
I was invited to Foligno to conduct a workshop with four classes, and to Turin, where I have contacts with associations connected to the courts for the defense of women and children who are victims of violence. I always say that if just one woman is encouraged to become aware of her situation and report it after reading my book, then I have already won.”
The data on femicides is truly alarming…
“Absolutely. In Italy, we’re talking about 80 femicides since the beginning of 2023, the latest being in Marsala. I want my book to be discussed within families because this issue cannot and should not be left only to schools. Girls should not be afraid to talk to their parents, and boys, on the other hand, should be taught to respect women.
In short, both boys and girls need to receive education on the matter, albeit in different ways. And, as I always tell my 18-year-old daughter, a girl should go out with her boyfriend and come home happy.
There are four main areas of violence: physical, psychological, verbal, and social. A girl who is constantly manipulated and targeted online, excluded from a story where all her friends are present, feels frustrated and experiences violence.
For example, if she goes out with a boy and everything seems fine, but then he blocks her on social media, the emotional impact of that is unfortunately underestimated.
My hope, my testimony, is an invitation to a collective awareness of the various forms of violence that women can be subjected to, and the sometimes dramatic consequences they can have on them.”
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